Holy Ghost…

I have just watched the Holy Ghost movie that is about to be put out by Bethel media.  Honestly, am having mixed response in the aftermath.  I believe that the intent of the film maker is good and true in that he simply wants people to realize the reality, power and truth of the Holy Spirit in the life of all believers.  He starts out with some solid assertions and arguments from speakers, worship leaders and teachers (notably R. T. Kendall) which lay out the case for the ongoing reality of the person of the Holy Spirit and the power-filled role that the Holy Spirit has in day to day life and in ministry.  This is to set up the main aim of the movie: to create a movie completely prompted by the Holy Spirit.  He says he had no plan and no story board and was only waiting on the Spirit’s leading and guiding to make the movie.  He then took the viewers on a journey through Salt Lake City, Monaco and finally to India because that is where the Spirit was leading him.  In each place a spirit led and infused story unravelled in which seemingly random people experienced healing as they encountered the film maker and his team.

Now I am not averse to the idea of this happening.  Healing on the Streets in indeed a wonderful ministry which is thriving back home in Northern Ireland and this was the model that they seemed to be using.  In this model, random people are encountered at the leading of the Holy Spirit and they are asked quite leading questions by the person who will pray for them.  Then when the issue is highlighted the person prays for them and asks if something has happened.  If nothing has happened then they pray again.  In one case they prayed 3 or four times for the healing which did eventually come, if the camera is to be believed.

Like I said, I am not averse to the model being used in the film, but I do find myself being skeptical over the spoken interactions between the folks who were ministering in prayer and those they were ministering to.  If I am honest, they seemed quite manipulative and leading and it often felt like the person being prayed for was cornered and unable to get a word in edgeways. Having said that, none of them ever seemed to appear to be bullied or pushed into anything at all.  And all of the people on camera certainly testified to feeling something inside.  Many were visibly moved.

I am left not really knowing what to do with it all.  This is the stuff I have longed for and I guess there is part of me that just needs to be a child and ask for it.  It really is that simple.

But then the intellectual side kicks in.  The voice of the enemy kicks in and reminds me of the reasons that Holy Spirit perhaps should not live in me. The questions kick in as I watch the miraculous seemingly take place in front of my eyes.  I do not deny that it is real (that is the power of the Holy Spirit) but I want to know what happened next.  I want to know what happened next in the lives of those young teenagers that got “saved” in the documentary.  I want to know what happened to those people at that rock concert that got prayed with, were promised that Jesus is real and then got “saved.”  I want to know what happened to the young man who was able to move his wrist in full motion after having previously been limited .  Did these guys surrender to God and go on to live lives as disciples of Jesus?  What churches did they connect people up with? What happened next?  I do not want to quash the amazing work that is done on the streets, but I do want to know what happens after it has all been prayed and done.  Does something have to happen?  Am I too blinkered by the need for church to happen after something like this?  Is my longing for the miraculous, for signs and wonders, simply a longing to have more people in my church?  Or is it really a longing to see Jesus meet with and live inside people regardless of what happens next?

So many questions in my intellect.  So many longings in my spirit.  And the call from this movie was that if I want the Holy Spirit to move more powerfully in me and through me, then all I have to do is ask.

I am asking.


I want to be filled, Jesus.  I want to be filled with you.  I want to overflow with you.  I really do.  I know I am flawed and broken and have regrets, mistakes, and shame.  I know that there are so many human reasons that you should not fill me.

But I just want it.

I just want you.

I want that amazing grace, care, compassion and power.

I want to see people healed.

I want to be the witness of these things and tell of them truthfully and with conviction.

Jesus, I am asking you:

Come and fill me please.

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